I think it's time to re-start this blog back up again :)

I know this journal has been pretty stagnant for the past year, and there are numerous times I've tried to revive it but it's just not the same. I spent most of the day looking through the past entries I've made, specifically of my time in Jordan, and have realised that I can barely relate to them anymore.

I've changed, times have changed, locations have changed, problems have changed. It's best to leave ridemycamel as it is, and move on to (hopefully) bigger and better things.

So this is the official press release: this journal is now done. Capiche. 

This was wonderful in so many ways. But I've moved, and in 2008 will begin a new chapter in my deranged life:

thebrownsnowflake.blogspot.com is my new location for more personal and reflective posts.

haterswithoutborders.blogspot.com is the location for political, social and cultural hate on everyone and everything, which is my speciality. I hope to make this a collaborative blog of sorts (once I write up a few entries and get the ball rolling), so let me know if you want in.

Bookmark both websites.

ridemycamel will not be deleted; not only because it holds a special place in my heart, but also because I still read all my friend's entries, and will comment when I can.

Peace bitches.

Poll #860611 Are Jews Considered White?
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 8

Are Jews Considered "White People"?

Meme!

Write down one sentence from each of the top 25 songs played on your iTunes. If you can guess the name of the song and who sings it, you win an internet.

1. [Arabic]: Meen ala ballo iyrayeh halo, yinsa halo ou iykoon mamnoon  Dania- Fiesta esizzle
2. Don't raise your hand like I can't see, you're in for mass distraction, you're in for gut reaction.
3. You wanna go, you wanna win a war, like PLO I don't surrendo. M.I.A.- Sunshowers robotar 4. [Arablish]: Dance to the beat to the rythum of the Nile. Amr Diab- Habeebi Wala Ala Balo [info]ikeepscreaming 5. But let me tell you I've never planned to let go of the hand that has been clinging by its thick country skin to my yellow country teeth. Clap Your Hands Say Yeah!- Skin of My Yellow Country Teeth [info]robotar 6. Don't you know me Kansas City? I'm the new Berlin Wall. Hedwig and the Angry Inch- Tear Me Down [info]viveleroi
7. So I cry sometimes when I'm lying in bed, just to get it all out whats in my head. Four Non-Blondes- What's Up esizzle 8. [Arabic]: Jarabet isneen itweela, magdirit asheelik min bali  Ahmad Sherif- Sahran Ma'ak Leyla [info]esizzle 9. I'm having a daydream we are getting somewhere, I'm kissing your lips and running fingers through your hair. 10. I spin refugee like Mohammad Ali, me say no Iraqi ever called me a Paki. 11. Won't you just tell Baby Daddy I'm gonna need his love, why don't he give me his love? Scissor Sisters- Laura [info]viveleroi 12. Ice age coming, throw it in the fire, we're not scaremongering, this is really happening. Radiohead- Idioteque [info]viveleroi 13. When you're deafened by the sound of betrayal and there's noone left to trust, falling off the end of the scale you carry on because you must. 14. When I come to the club step aside, oh snap. Fergie- London Bridge [info]atomicdevil 15. I've got soul, but I'm not a soldier The Killers- All The Things That I've Done [info]atomicdevil
16. Cherokee Indians, Iraqi Indians, Japanese Moroccans, Caribbean Africans- that's your life but who the fuck's your president? M.I.A.- Hidden Track accusehistory 17. Made a meal and threw it up on Sunday, I've got a lot of things to learn. Oasis- Stand By Me [info]fala7a 18. Some speak the sounds but speak in silent voices, like radio is silent though it fills the air with noises. Rage Against the Machine- Fistful of Steel [info]cue_revolution 19. Pull the trigger, I'm a hippie, say your truth in blood. 20. I sang the song, danced the dance, I gave your friends all the chance, putting up with them was never worth having you. Okay, I'm done.

There's nothing good about waking up early on a Friday morning to sift through 150 pages of statistical data on the relationship between income inequality and economic growth in developing countries. However, chew on this thought while you sip your coffee and prepare for the weekend:

In one of the papers (Seguino, 2000), the author uses empirical evidence to prove that gender wage discrimination is actually an important indicator of economic growth, and in fact, was one of the main reasons for stimulating Asian economic growth between 1975 and 1990. This is because, gender norms and stereotypes in East Asia convince women to accept their low status, curb labour and political unrest, which in turn stimulates investment. Low female wages also lower labour costs and provide the foreign exchange necessary to purchase capital (and thus, increase investment).

Yet another reason to keep women in the kitchen...but if women suck so much, what is this Seguino lady doing writing academic papers?

France beat Brazil, wtf? That was a good game, but bloody hell, why were they playing so badly? France dominated the crap out of Brazil. Honestly, the score could have been much higher had France not fucked up a bunch of times in the first half. Apparently this is the first time Brazil doesn't make it into the semi-finals in 20 years. Is this true?

Whatever...I'm happy Brazil is out of this really, I wouldn't have been satisfied with a Brazil win. Happy for Portugal defeating England though, although I didn't catch the entire match, we heard some of it on the radio.

Germany vs. Argentina was hands-down the best match this entire season. I was on the edge of my seat the entire time, and was glad Germany pulled through at the last minute. For a while there it looked like it was going to be a 1-0 game for Argentina. Thankfully, the Germans pulled through and when it came down to the penalties (Germany's forte) I was pretty confident.

Right now, as it stands I am hoping for a Germany/Portugal final with Germany winning. It'll probably be Germany/France though. Not sure who will win that one, but if Zeindine Zidane continues to play like he's been playing the past few matches, France could easily pull out a win.

I'm leaving for Berlin tomorrow! I haven't been out of the Middle East in over a year, so it'll be quite strange.

For some peculiar reason, a lot of conversations I’ve been having seem to be centered around the situation in Darfur, and none of them were a result of me bringing it up.

Met up with Maz a few days ago, who lives in the Sudan. We talked about Darfur, and he says it is completely blown out of proportion. It was interesting hearing his perspective on the issue, considering he’s lived in Sudan for two years. According to him, there are economic and political reasons for the hype of Darfur, and it is part of a US agenda that has little to do with the humanitarian concerns.

I told Maz that regardless, people are dying, and so something bad is going on. His reply, “bad things happen everywhere, everyday.” Perhaps not the most convincing solution, but it did get me thinking.

Similarly, met up with D. two nights ago, and she brought up the heavy Zionist backing of Darfur on campus, as an attempt to i) show a more humanitarian side of Hillel, ii) demonize Arabs and Muslims, and iii) take attention away from Iraq and Palestine. Her frustrations stemmed from Hillel’s hypocrisy in what constitutes a human rights abuse, which, granted, I am all for.

But, where does this issue really lie? I agree totally with both arguments: the issue is definitely being overblown. Both arguments Maz and D. make are mentioned in greater detail in this article, for those interested.

I am no Darfur expert, although I know enough to know that people are dying. The fact that they are Africans makes it worse because I fucking love Africa. But where do we draw the line between pointing the finger at hypocrisy of right-wing Zionists/ Christian Evangelicals while also trying to analyze the issue from an impartial standpoint.

I guess what I’m trying to say is: when a group that I have huge issues with (right-wing Zionist lobby, and right-wing Evangelical Christians) take up a cause for strategic reasons, I need to find a way to continue to support the cause without feeling like I am being forced into a choice (or rather, being co-opted by the aforementioned groups). I don’t know where I stand on Darfur, as I have been a bad Development Studies student and have been ignoring the ongoing Darfur drama.

But I also can’t be a hypocrite myself, because I don’t apply it to other aspects of my politics: I continue to support the Palestinian struggle for self-determination, despite the fact that the movement has been hijacked by everything from oppressive authoritarian governments in the region to politicized Islamo-fascism. My support comes from the basic ideology that Palestine and the Palestinian people have been wronged, and continue to be wronged.

It is much more difficult to do this with Darfur, I guess, since it is not such a personal issue that is close to my heart. I need to find a way to do so.

Jamie sent a very interesting e-mail summing up his experiences this past year working in Lesotho as an HIV nurse.

Some good insights into the problem of HIV in Lesotho specifically, and HIV in Africa more generally, that I think some may be interested in.

Peace. Thoughts?

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We are doing an experiment this side of the planet.
Think of it as Jordanian free-style, West-Amman Ay-rab stylez wot wot.

آه هو لو في موضوع لازم ينحكى عليه كان امنحكي فيو
بس منتاكين من كل النواحي احنا...
صاح!!؟؟ ولا لأ؟
و بدنى نطلع من البلد
عشان عمان صارت خربانه
و الناس فيها...زبالة.
لأ, حرام مش بطالين
(Merci kteer) بس بدها رحلة على بيروت
كنت راكب تكسي بي ام موديل جديد...
اخو طيزي مركب عليه سيستم
ولا فجئة بقلي الشفير انو بدو يسمعني
غنية رهيبة...
في بنت من الجامعة قلتلو عنها
المهم...الغنية واحد خليجي بغنيها
ما بتزكر شو اسمه
Kenny Rogers بس مش عارف ليش زكرني في
هاهاوزززز—ضحكة أردنية
المهم...فعمبقلكم انو بدي أسافر..
مش فارقة وين
حتى ولو كان الصومال ولا موريتانيا
(كمان هاهاوزززز؟؟ لأ كانت فاشلة شوي هاي)
بس هيك تغيير جو عاشني طفران عيشتي
و بدي أنيك بدون ازعاج التيتة كل ليلة
لأ يا زلمة بدينا انزنخ

[If anyone is up for it, go ahead and translate it in English for the non-Arabic speakers. Personally, I feel the subliminal messages are so quintessentially Jordanian that I doubt it would translate very well… هاهاوزززز ]

There is a new woman in my life. Her name is Hend.



She is a handful.

News from my hometown; I remember this church the last time I visited. It was beautiful, but I remember being frustrated because I was missing Miss Universe 1993. This is sad to see, although hardly surprising.

Couple Lights Fireworks in Nazareth Shrine

Friday March 3, 2006 11:01 PM

By AMY TEIBEL

NAZARETH, Israel (AP) - An Israeli couple, joined by a young woman reported to be their daughter, entered one of Christianity's holiest sites on Friday and set off a series of small explosions, sparking a riot that left six people wounded in this Arab town in northern Israel.

The family's motives were unclear, but police said they had been treated for psychiatric problems in the past and faced the possibility of losing custody of their children.

Although the attack did not appear to be nationalistic, it underscored the tensions between Israel's Jewish majority and its Arab minority. Israeli Arabs, who make up about 20 percent of the population, complain of systematic discrimination.

Police said the three entered the Basilica of the Annunciation Friday evening and set off firecrackers and other small explosives. Church officials said the site was unguarded, and witnesses said the explosives were hidden in a baby stroller.

A witness who identified herself only by her first name, Rouan, said the church was crowded with worshippers praying for the coming Easter holiday.

``We heard a boom. It went on for six or seven minutes,'' said the 22-year-old woman. She said the blast left black spots on the walls inside, but witnesses said there was no serious damage.

Within minutes, thousands of people began rioting outside, preventing police from entering. The attackers - who were disguised as pilgrims - remained barricaded inside the building for several hours before police broke through the crowd and took them into custody.

By late Friday, the riot had stopped, though hundreds of young men milled about, as small bonfires set inside garbage bins crackled and the acrid smell of tear gas blanketed the air. An Israeli helicopter hovered overhead.

Police officials said the couple involved in the attack had been treated for psychiatric problems in the past. The officials said authorities had questioned the Jerusalem couple this week and threatened to place their children in foster care.

Police said the couple had previously threatened to attack churches, and also spent time in the Palestinian territories, including a visit to the late Yasser Arafat's headquarters. Israeli media reported that the young woman with them was a daughter, though it was not known how many children they have.

The officials spoke on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to speak to the media.

Israeli Public Security Minister Gideon Ezra said the attack did not appear to have nationalist motivations. He said the husband is Jewish and the wife is Christian.

Archbishop Elias Shakur, the top Roman Catholic official in Nazareth, dismissed the attackers as lone extremists.

``It's a big tragedy for all of us in Israel, for Christians, for having their most holy places spoiled and used in a barbaric way,'' he said.

The church is at the site where Christians believe the Angel Gabriel appeared before the Virgin Mary and foretold the birth of Jesus.

Nazareth, the boyhood town of Jesus, is inhabited by Christian and Muslim Arabs, and religious tensions have boiled over in the past, with the two sides in a dispute over attempts to build a mosque next to the church.

``We live here two religions together and they tried to make trouble for us,'' said Jaber Zeid, 20, of Nazareth.

Israel's roughly 1 million Arabs hold Israeli citizenship, in contrast to Palestinian residents of the West Bank and Gaza Strip who live under the Palestinian Authority.

Despite tensions between Jews and Arabs, violence is rare. Last August, a Jewish army deserter killed four Israeli Arabs in a shooting rampage on a bus. The attacker was killed by a mob.

In the worst ethnic violence in Israel, police killed 13 Arab-Israeli demonstrators who blocked a highway in October 2000.

Today is so slow, it's not even three pm and yet I feel I have been here for all of eternity.

The higlight of my day has been getting a call from some dude called "Jihad".

You want me to update my journal, esizzle, here's your stupid update dude, take it and run far far away.

Africa jokes aside, I find this interview very interesting. I've bolded the interesting bits.

"For God's Sake, Please Stop the Aid!"

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Not sure how much I agree, as I tend to stay away from Africa since its the "in" thing right now, but I never thought of it in those terms before (granted, very simple and don't take into account terms of trade). Any thoughts?

x-posted to _diarrhea_

I tried and tried, but could not resist.

When you’re voting for Hamas, and it squirts out of your ass, diarrhea, diarrhea

When you occupy Iraq, and you lose your anal stock, diarrhea, diarrhea

When you burn an embassy, and you let loose anal pee, diarrhea, diarrhea

When you’re declaring jihad, and your sphincter just goes mad, diarrhea, diarrhea


anyone got any more?

x-posted to arabicmp3



Rum was absolutely brilliant last night. I had heard about these guys in high school, but I was only familliar with Tareq al-Nasser's music through Nihayat Rajol Shuja', the Ramadan TV series that aired in the late '90s. (See my October '05 un-holy month of Ramadan archives for more on this show).

But I had never seen them live, so I was not prepared for such a great performance. The music is brilliant, but the live performance is incredible. They had the audience going through every emotion in their two hour set. The songs itself are great: they are all so different that one is never bored; you've got some traditional ballads, some bossa nova style jazz, some modern blues, and then the great remake of the Traditional Jordanian zaffeh, which was delivered so perfectly you felt you were in the middle of Wadi Rum desert. They even threw in the greatest song that mixed cheesy Syrian TV (تيتي تيتي تيتي رحت متل ما جيتي) with some early 90s style Jordanian hip-hop of the 'Abu Yousef' era. They used loud speakers to sing and rap, which made the crowd go wild; the song was so popular they repeated it twice, and now its stuck in my head.

You can find most of their songs, and samples of the new CD, on their website (www.rummusic.com). I'll try and figure out a way to upload their CD at some point. Until then, here are a few highlights that must be heard:

1. Maniya Jtna Risala (right-click to download)

The aforementioned remake of the Jordanian zaffeh. Seeing this performed live made the crowd go crazy; everyone sang along and danced, it was great. Despite my beef with Jordan, this traditional bedouin song always moves me in a strange way. I can't explain it. It's both haunting and wild, the intense Tabla drumming makes me horny, and the climax with the chanting is phenomenal. I want to have sex to this song.

2. Min Nus Saa'ah (right-click to download)

This is the bossa nova song that talks about this guy being stood up. I am a huge fan of Arab adaptations of the Bossa Nova style, and this song sounds exactly like something Ziyad Rahbani would create. Plus, the section where the guy talks towards the end is brilliant, although anyone who mentions the "Alo" card phenomenon is going to get an A+ in my books.

The saxophonist deserves his own bloody paragraph for what he did with this song. Really, he was just brilliant.

3. Eshna Ala Ras al-Ain (right-click to download)

This is the song that mixes Syrian TV trash (عشنا) with late 90s Jordanian hip-hop, which incidentally is also trash. But the result is awesome, and the way it was performed (loudspeakers) was phenomenal. And the lyrics are fucking hilarious:

اذا بدك تستريح شو ما شوفت قول منيح
تيتي تيتي تيتي رحت متل ما جيتي

----


I wasn't a huge fan of the instrumentals though to be honest. The voices of Sahar Khalifa and Yazan Al Rousan (who also has a solo album you can listen to here) really fit in with Tareq's unique style of composition. One has a haunting voice that is great for the traditional and bluesy songs, the other has a more contemporary Arab voice that is popular in the alternative circles of Lebanese music.

Overall, fucking brilliant shit right there. Probably the best concert I've been to in years.

I need new LJ friends.

It is complete! Brilliant guys, thanks a lot. This is a work in progress so keep them coming!

'How to Write About Arabia'
By hoolifan, sabotabby, esizzle, istara, cue_revolution, and ridemycamel

some tips: sheikhs and suicide bombings are good
Always use the word ‘Sand’ or 'Darkness' or ‘Whispers’ in your title. Subtitles may include the words ‘Islam’, ‘Jihad’, 'Desert', ‘Dawn’, ‘Struggle’, 'Oil', ‘Orient’, ‘Arabia’, 'Calling', ‘Veil’, ‘Allah’ or ‘Anger’. Also useful are words such as ‘Terrorists’, 'Timeless', 'Fundamentalism' and 'Tribal'. Note that you must always refer to Arab people as the “Arab Street”.

Under no circumstances should you have a picture of a well-adjusted Arab on the cover of your book, or in it; sometimes you may make mention of certain well-rounded Arabs, but only to highlight their differences with the West. An AK-47, a mosque, and the desert: use these. If you must include an Arab, make sure you get one in a veil or burning an American or Israeli flag.

In your text, treat the Middle East as if it were one country, and constantly refer to it as ‘Arabia’. It is hot and dusty with rolling sand dunes and huge herds of camels, because they are the only animals that are strong enough to live in such a harsh climate. Don't get bogged down with precise descriptions. The Middle East is big: twenty-two countries, 300 million people who are too busy fighting and dying and warring and bombing themselves to read your book. The continent is full of deserts, jungles, highlands and many other things, but your reader doesn't care about all that, so keep your descriptions mysterious and exotic and unparticular. Also, make sure that you mention that Turkey, Iran or Afghanistan are not Arab countries, but then continue to refer to them as if they were. Because, although you are worldly and realize the differences, they all sort of look the same so it doesn’t matter.

Make sure you show how Arabs are completely different from the West, and do things no other humans do. Do not mention music, television or bars; the mosque is an Arab’s entertainment of choice, along with jihad, war, tribal meetings, gutting sheep, cutting off limbs, and having arguments about the inferiority of women. Make sure you show that you are able to partake in such acts without flinching, and describe how you learn to understand this perspective—because you care.

Taboo subjects: ordinary domestic scenes, love between Arabs (unless honor killing is involved), references to Arabs having fun, references to Arabs not hating the US, mention of school-going children who have no intention of blowing themselves up. Make no mention of Christian Arabs, Jewish Arabs, black Arabs, or blond Arabs. All Arabs are Muslim, and all Arabs are dark (but not too dark).

You may show Arabs partaking in everyday life, but always sound slightly astonished at how they can cook, clean, and sometimes (but rarely) laugh, given their strict Islamic tradition. Make sure to mention that despite partaking in everyday actions, they do so under “the watchful eyes of the oppressive regime/father/mullah”. Also, any mention of school should also be accompanied with the topic of “madressas”. This is when you show the clip of faceless young Arabs banging their head on the ground.

Throughout the book, adopt a bad Arabic accent, in conspiracy with the reader, and an angry, helpless tone. Establish early on that your liberalism is impeccable, and mention near the beginning how much you understand why all Arabs hate the US, how you sympathize with the repressed “Arab street”, despite their backwards nature. If you are a man, take it upon yourself to save the beautiful veiled woman from her oppressive society. If you are a woman, treat Arabia as a man who is oppressive, traditional, and yet strangely kind and caring. Arabia is to be pitied, feared or liberated. Whichever angle you take, be sure to leave the strong impression that without your intervention and your important book, the “Arab Street” is doomed.

Your Arab characters may include young fundamentalist men, highly sexualized yet repressed females, and devout Muslims who are against jihad. Or corrupt leaders, poor Bedouins, rich sheikhs, and harem prostitutes you have slept with. The devout Muslim’s goal must always be to reclaim Islam from the Fundamentalists, and makes constant references to the fact that ‘radical Islam is the exception not the rule’, so that your readers are clear that, like them, you are not anti-Islam. The Modern Arab is a fat man who steals and works in the visa office, refusing to give work permits to qualified Westerners who really care about Arabia. He is an enemy of change, always using his government job to make it difficult for pragmatic and good-hearted expats to set up NGOs or Women Shelters. Or he is an Oxford-educated intellectual turned serial-killing politician in an Armani suit. He is a cannibal who likes Cristal champagne, and his mother is a rich and unveiled businesswoman who runs a harem.

Among your characters you must always include The Hysterical Mother, who can’t speak any English and wanders the refugee camp slapping herself and screaming and cursing at the West. Her children are young fundamentalists, and she is shown weeping for fear that her sons will turn out to be suicide bombers. She must look utterly helpless, and snot must run down her nose. She can have no past, no history; such diversions ruin the dramatic moment. Moans are good. She must never say anything about herself in the dialogue except to speak of her (unspeakable) suffering. Also be sure to include a warm and beautiful veiled woman who has a shy laugh and who is concerned for her country. These characters should buzz around your main hero, making him look good. Your hero can teach them, bathe them, feed them; he carries lots of babies and has seen Death. Your hero is you (if reportage), or a beautiful, tragic international celebrity/aristocrat who has converted to Islam (if fiction).

Bad Western characters may include the Bush administration, Western expats who molest women, employees of the World Bank. When talking about exploitation by foreigners mention the US and the word “imperialism” repeatedly. Blame the West for Arabia’s situation. But do not be too specific.

Broad brushstrokes throughout are good. Avoid having the Arab characters laugh, or struggle to educate their kids, or just make do in mundane circumstances. Have them illuminate something about Europe or America in the Middle East. Arab characters should be mysterious, exotic, and traditional—but all must hate the US. It is the good Arabs that do not act on these feelings. Don’t try too hard to explain to your audience why they hate the US, because doing so would be racist towards their “Islamic civilization”. Accept the fact that you will be hated, and try and work through these feelings—but only with the good Arabs. A soundtrack of quick Arabic gibberish, and the azzan sound should accompany the bad Arabs while they speak.

Make sure to impress upon your readers how Arabia was nothing before oil, and will be nothing again when oil runs out. Don't mention education, or technology (mobiles will destroy the sense of endless rolling desert). These things are not relevant when discussing the Land of Arabia, only oil is. Every Arab must be described in national dress, with the phrase: "flowing white robes" or "immaculate white robes". Don't forget to impress upon your reader how immaculate and how dazzling white those robes are. Muse repeatedly on the amazing ability of the peoples of Arabia to keep their flowing white robes so dazzlingly white. The women of Arabia must always be described as "black veiled women" and always in the plural. Never "wife"; always "wives". Every airport must have a scene where an Arabian man in flowing white robes is accompanied by several black-veiled wives.

Describe, in detail, the call to prayer (azzan, loud, haunting, conservative, bombed) or smelly, dirty markets. Also, sex is very important, so go into detail about the differences in the ways Arabs have and think about sex. And naked bodies. Or, better, naked dead bodies. And especially blown up naked dead bodies. Remember, any work you submit in which people look filthy and miserable and angry will be referred to as the 'real Arabia’, and you want that on your dust jacket. Do not feel queasy about this: you are trying to help them be understood by the West. Animals, on the other hand, must be treated as well rounded, complex characters. This should be easy, as camels are the only animals that exist in the Middle East, other than scarabs and cockroaches.

Readers will be put off if you don't mention the markets in Arabia. They are always loud and dirty. There is always someone who is spitting phlegm. Small, winding alleys and bazaars are critical—Arabia is the Land of Mystery and Exoticisim. Talk about the beauty of the rolling sand dunes and the geographical landscape, that continues to be beautiful despite the type of people that inhabit it. When your main character is in a desert living with indigenous peoples (anybody short and/or dirty) it is okay to mention that Arabia has been severely depopulated by War and Jihad (use caps).

You'll also need a nightclub called Tropicana, where mercenaries, evil nouveau riche Arabs and prostitutes and guerrillas and expats hang out.

Always end your book or movie with the azzan resonating through an abandoned market place during sunset, calling everyone to prayer. Seriously, don't forget the haunting wail of the azzan. Repeatedly. Because you care.

The following article has been forwarded through the DEVSie circuits, and is freaking hilarious.

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I want to do one about the Middle East. How to write about the Middle East. Here are the sections I want to have (similar to above article). Can you guys think of anything that could be put under these sections? Rich Sheikhs? Flag-waving, women-hating, Islamists? Terrorized women beneath THE VEIL?

Let's hear it! What would you expect from your stereotypical, Not-Without-My-Daughter type Middle Eastern book/documentary/movie?

1. Front Cover + Title
2. Common Words to Use
3. Descriptions (of people, landscape, etc)
4. Characters
5. Dos and Don'ts
6. Voiceovers

Edited to add: The funniest thing just happened...this sixty year old Arab-American (who speaks little Arabic) is at the Center doing research; the dude walks into my office and we were talking and I couldn't help but mix in some Arabic with my English.

Dude: Are you busy?
Me: No, I just khalasit had [trans: finished this]
Dude: Why?
Me: Huh?
Dude: Why are you feeling hollow and sad?

I'm back from Egypt, had loads of fun. I will write more about it when KB sends the pictures and videos, which might be never, but could be tomorrow...but will probably be never.

But holy crap, I noticed something crazy. You can tell a hardcore Muslim by looking at his forehead. If he has a slight bruise there, it usually indicates the head-to-the-carpet-five-times-a-day Muslim. It's also a great way to tell whether someone will appreciate you telling them about your random sexcapades and alcohol binges. If they have the forehead bruise, then you're better off avoiding conversations around pork and the like.

Witness Ayman al-Zawahiri, below:



See the bruise on the forehead? That means this guy is a serious fan of the Lord.

But, check this out and tell me what is missing in this photo of the ever-so-hip Osama:



That's right bitchez, he doesn't have a bruise. Could he be an infidel? You know, I've always thought so, he just didn't look like the religious type to me. No seriously, I never saw it. So either a) he's a poseur, or b) he's a mutant. I think he is a mutant.

Thoughts?

Running around getting things done, so haven't been at the office, meaning haven't checked mail or anything. Of course, I always make time for the LJ. Just needed to say:

1. I can now finally drive legally, and don't have to avoid cops.
2. Heading to Egypt tomorrow with KB and other friends. Going to try to get some scuba diving done, keep fingers crossed.

Peace.